My Sister & me

when did it happen, when did we fall

was it the plan that lay before us

as we ran up and down the hall, the earth was so big,we were so small

was it the day that Daddy died?

how did we split and let the anger fly

why did we slap and hit without knowing the reason why

was it the day that Daddy died

never seeing eye to eye,the hurt and the scars that we inflicted

would swell up and become red and infected

Lost Childhood

We were pulling into a garage and my Mom turned around and said,”This is your new Father.” I threw myself back in the seat and in my mind I said ,”NO WAY!.”

Next I am sitting in the porch that almost rings around the Queen Anne home. Huge it is. I had a Cinderella coloring book and a new box of crayons. The big box with the sharpener on the back. They were beautiful to look at.The way they were made with those little round flat tips before you use them. I started to color in the book until I went out of a line. This was no good. It was terrible thing to do. So I got up and walked to the store were I got the first one. Was I glad they had another. Took it home and started to color again. This time I only made it to the second page. Back down to the store and got another one. Out of line again. So back to the store for another one. They were sold out. I went around the store looking and finally asked the clerk and he said they were sold out. I looked at him with popped eyes.”Your out?! A store never runs out of anything.”All those books I had at home were spoiled and not usable.

This was just the beginning of the lemons to come. Fade to black.

My Dad

Red fish,blue fish,yellow and green all floating in the still water because of the small damn he made. I would sit there with my pole and try to catch them. The fish had big rings on their backs and my fish hook was big one. Had fun. I once hit my little sister on the head. Dad saw that and boy did I run to no avail. He got me and lifted me up with that big hand over my arm and swung his hand and pushed me up. I never did that again,well not in front of him. One time I walked to the edge of the driveway and did he yell. He was on a latter which made him look so much bigger than he was. Boy was I running back into the lawn. Their was a picture of me held in time because my Mom and Dad thought it was so funny. There was a big flower pot on the porch with a plant in it. I had dirt all around my mouth and made circles in more dirt around the pot on the floor. Have you ever tried to eat dirt?  Well it’s bland and gritty. Nope don’t recommend it. There came a day I was on my swing set when I saw a huge dark cloud coming out of the woods. My eyes and mouth popped open. I sat in fear of moving. When it got too close to the swing that’s when I started to scream and scream. It engulfed the swings by that time. Mom came out to see what was going on. I buried my face into her skirt and told her what I saw. She said to me nothing was there. Still too afraid to look we stood there until I took a peek and she was right. It as gone. The tying of the shoes. Dad sat over me and showed me how to do it,over and over and over and over again until got it. Pretty good for a three and a half old I think. Mom and Dad where sitting on the kitchen chairs and I could see the legs attached to the table. Small was I. Then I heard from Dad “Look who’s up!”

Next Mom and I were on the way to the Hospital. Mom had this idea that if I sang Dads favorite song it would cheer him up. That was not so good. My Dad fought in WWII in the Indoburma-China campaign and pick up a bug that now was killing his body. Well I went in and started singing and he went nuts. Then came what I thought was tomato juice fly from his mouth and some seigers kicked in.

I was taken quickly out of the room by white starched skirts and put in a chair by myself. Did I mention a cow was my Best friend? The next picture in my mind and will not leave, is my ride in the back seat of the car. I leaned over far enough to see Moms’ face in the rearview window. I wonder why they let her drive? Her eyes were lifeless and body stiff. We were quiet all the way to who knows where.